


love you

by KiKi37



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27252427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiKi37/pseuds/KiKi37
Summary: “See ya, Ben.”“Love you!”As she slammed the heavy door and turned away, she saw him lean his forehead against the steering wheel.  Even though she knew he didn’t mean it, it was nice to hear anyway.Ben reflexively says "love you."  Rey likes it a little too much.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 14
Kudos: 135





	love you

* * *

She sat on the bench, eyes closed, just absorbing the sounds and smells. Absorbing the fall afternoon sun, the warmth sinking into her bones.

If she didn't think too hard, she could almost pretend the last six years hadn't happened. Not that the last six years had been bad, necessarily. Just not as good. As before.

The sounds and smells of traffic. The smell of fresh-baked bread. The smell of lunch time pizza and chrysanthemums and crunchy fall leaves. She could almost pretend she was back in the fall of senior year.

She smiled and tipped her face up to the sun. How many times had she sat on this very bench? She took a deep breath. It was a good place to return to, a place to feel grounded. A good place to start over.

Suddenly, a dark shadow fell over her, blocking the sun from her face, her skin.

"Rey?"

She would know that voice anywhere, but it was the last one she had expected to hear today. She opened her eyes, bringing her hand up for shade, blinking up at the shadowy figure before her, shrouded and backlit in misty light like a fearsome archangel. She grinned.

"Ben!"

She jumped up and threw her arms around his neck, as his arms came around her waist. 

"I was _not_ expecting to see you! How wonderful!"

 _"Rey?!_ _I can't believe you're really here!"_

Finally she drew back, just enough to see his face, her hands resting on his shoulders. "You look so handsome!" She brushed her fingers down his dark lapels, straightened his tie just a smidge. "What are you doing? Do you work around here?" 

He released her and they sat side-by-side on the bench. "Yes! Just down at the corner. I was walking back from the bank. Applying for a business loan." He studied her face, a gentle smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm moving back. I just signed a lease on a little studio apartment at the Lambton." She indicated the new glass and brick building, just a couple blocks down. "I've applied a few places, I'm just waiting for some responses."

"How wonderful." He extended his hand, and she placed hers within, resting on his knee. He smiled down at her, just a little absurdly, she thought, but she knew she probably looked the same. "I don't know what to say." His thumb brushed back and forth, across her knuckles, as he perused her face one feature at a time. "Could I interest you in some cheesecake?"

She laughed, "that's always the right thing to say!" and jumped up.

"There's a place just down..." he drew her hand up into the crook of his elbow as he stood and started walking. "Have you seen Finn? Or Rose? They're still living in the area too."

"Not yet. All my things, my furniture and dishes and things, just arrived with the movers this morning, so I'm still getting settled. I'm so glad I ran into you!"

"I am too!" He stopped at a glass door and held it open for her. Together they approached the counter. Rey's eyes goggled. "For you, might I suggest the strawberry? And a hot chocolate? Or are you drinking coffee these days?"

She snorted and looked at the employee behind the counter. "Hot chocolate, please. Extra whipping cream?"

He grabbed some napkins, and they wandered over to a little round table in the corner. 

"This is a lovely little spot. But I don't know if having a café with such a delicious-looking assortment of cheesecakes, so close to my apartment, is going to work out well for me."

Ben laughed. "I have a feeling it's going to work out just fine!"

They chatted for more than an hour, and then Ben insisted on ordering her another slice of cheesecake, to go. As it turned out, it was his café, and he was hoping to open a second location, downtown. They exchanged numbers and agreed to get together again on Friday night.

"I'm so sorry I've kept you so long! Like you had nothing else to do today!"

"Nothing that was more important, Rey." He brushed a lock of hair behind her shoulder and bent forward to give her a hug, his hand spanning her whole back. 

"Thanks for the cheesecake, Ben!" He held the door for her as she walked out, onto the sidewalk. "See ya!"

She took two steps as the door started to close, and she heard him call out, "love you." She drew up, nearly tripping and turning back slightly to look at his shocked face through the window. She reached out her hand and rested her fingertips against the glass, for balance. She grinned and waved at him, continuing on down the sidewalk; and as she turned, out of the corner of her eye she saw his hand fly up to his face in embarrassment.

* * *

_“He said ‘I love you!’ but he didn’t mean it! It was so weird!”_

_Rey doodled in the margins of her algebra assignment, straining to hear Bazine’s whispers._

_“Why would he do that?” Kay giggled across the aisle. “Were you guys on a date?”_

_“He gave me a ride home from debate. I think it was like that dog. You know that thing we learned about, that dog and the bell?”_

_“You mean Pavlov? Now I’m confused.”_

_“I was getting out of the car, and I said ‘see ya’ and he said ‘love you.’ He was so embarrassed and shocked about it! So I just laughed and got out. But then I was thinking about it, and I think it was like, you know, something you would say on the phone, without thinking.”_

_“He’s such a dork!”_

_Bazine snickered, “I don’t know. He’s kinda cute.”_

_Rey stopped listening to the girls and scribbled through all the writing to the side of her math problems. She’d have to rewrite the whole thing before turning it in, if the name she’d written in the margins wasn’t completely blacked out._

* * *

“I still can’t believe I just happened to run into you!” She threw her arms around his shoulders and went up on her tiptoes, pressing her cheek against his. “Come in!”

He handed her a to-go box, with two slices of cheesecake. 

“Mmm! Do I have to share?”

“Absolutely not!” He chuckled. “I know you don’t share desserts.”

She backed into her kitchen to pop the container into the fridge. “Make yourself at home. I’d offer a tour, but this is basically it.”

“This is nice, Rey. Very open, airy.”

“I’m happy with it. And there’s a balcony, with a nice view of the river.”

He looked out the large glass door. “You just need a little barbecue grill out there.”

She laughed, coming back into the large room and snagging her jacket and purse from the closet. He took her jacket from her, and helped her put it on. “What are we doing?”

“Finn and Rose are going to meet us at the restaurant. Is Mexican okay?”

“Sounds great!” She locked up and he took her hand as they walked down the hall to the elevator. “Did you hear back from the bank?”

“Yeah. We’re slated to start construction in about six weeks. I’ll take you to see the site sometime.”

She squeezed his hand, “that’s great, Ben!” They walked out to his car, parked on the street. “It’s so weird to be in the old neighborhood. It looks so different, with all the new buildings and things, but it still feels the same. You know what I mean?” She looked over at him, his long hair, his full lips. He met her regard. “Kind of like you.”

He huffed, “what does that mean?”

“It’s just so strange to see you. After all these years. You look… like an adult. But still the same too. Do you know what I mean?”

He grinned. “Yeah, I guess so. You’re just as beautiful as always, Rey.” He winked at her and glanced away shyly.

* * *

_“Hey Ben!”_

_“Hi Rey!”_

_“Hux said you wanted to do a food swap. Same deal as last time?” She set the pizza box on the counter._

_Ben lifted the lid and peeked in, “looks good! What flavor do you want?”_

_Rey bounced on her toes excitedly, “I didn’t know I got to pick!”_

_“If he makes you do the pickup, then yes, you get to pick.”_

_Rey walked over to the display case. “Any of these quarts?”_

_“Yeah. Or I can check in back if you don’t see what you want.”_

_“I’ve never tried mango.”_

_Ben scooped a little sample for her, from the open tub, and handed the spoon to her, their fingers brushing on the tiny handle._

_“Mmm… yeah, this is the one!”_

_She grabbed a quart of mango sherbet from the freezer and bounced toward the door._

_“Thanks Rey, see you at school.”_

_“Yep! See ya!”_

_“Love you!”_

_She paused just a moment, but didn’t turn back. It was just like Bazine had said. The door hit her hip and she waved back to him, pretending she hadn’t heard anything out of the ordinary, ignoring her racing heart. As the door snapped shut, she heard his mumbled, “shit.”_

* * *

Rose was laughing and snorting, her hand pressed against her very pregnant belly. “This is gonna give me heartburn like nobody’s business!”

Finn rubbed her back, “I’ll prop you up on pillows, babe.”

They were just adorable; Rey had always thought they would end up together. She observed them somewhat covertly. And with no small measure of envy, if she was being honest. They were so perfect for each other. 

Just before graduation, Plutt had moved them out of state, and she had lost contact with everyone. She felt like she had spent the last six years working her way back here. It wouldn’t be the same, it would be stupid to even expect that. But maybe she could have friends again. Didn’t she deserve some peace?

“I’ve gotta get her home.” Finn stood. 

“Yeah, I’m about to turn into a pumpkin.” Rose reached for Rey’s hand. “It was so great to see you! We’ll have to get together again very soon!”

Rey stood and embraced them both in turn. “That sounds great!”

Finn shook Ben’s hand, “thanks for calling, man. Let’s do it again soon.”

Ben smiled and nodded. He and Rey followed after them, wandering out to his car. “Do you want to walk down to the park? Are you warm enough?”

He took her hand again and they chatted as they made their way to the little green space, where some boys were kicking a soccer ball around and girls were giggling, twisting up and spinning out on the old swings.

They sat on a park bench and she shivered. He extended his arm behind her, and she leaned into him as he brought his arm around her shoulders; closing her eyes, just listening to the kids and the crickets starting to chirp.

“Do you want to get together again?”

She opened her eyes and drew back to look at him. “Do you mean… hang out as friends, or…?” She couldn’t stop herself, couldn’t keep her gaze from drifting down to his lips. She had always wondered what it would feel like, to be kissed by those lips. 

She felt his hand shift up, from between her shoulder blades, to the nape of her neck, under her hair; and press gently, in invitation. She leaned in and brought her hand to his chest, gripping his jacket as he closed the distance and touched his lips to hers, gently, briefly, and then drew back to gauge her reaction. 

“Mmm… we never did that before.”

He grinned, “true. Why didn’t we?”

She snorted, pulling back further. “I distinctly remember there was absolutely no interest in anything of the kind on your part, Mr. Solo.”

“Then you have a terrible memory, Miss Niima, because that’s not how I remember it, at all.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Is that so?”

“It is. So.”

With just a bit of pressure against her head, he brought her closer and kissed her again, slanting against her and nipping her lower lip gently with his teeth. 

* * *

_He waved at her as he unlocked his car._

_“See ya tomorrow, Ben!”_

_“Bye, Rey.”_

_Hmmm. That didn’t do it._

_***_

_Rey followed Finn down the bleachers, drawing her jacket around her._

_“See ya!”_

_“Bye Rey! Bye Finn!”_

_Maybe he has to be preoccupied… although, now she thought of it, she didn’t want him to say it in front of Finn, or anyone else. It would be easier to pretend he meant it if there weren’t others around._

_***_

_Rey gathered her books and passed quietly behind Ben, who was still bent over his physics book. She whispered, “see ya!” and brushed her hand along his upper back._

_“Yeah, love you…”_

_She heard his sharp intake of breath, his low groan as he realized what he had said. She continued out the door, pretending she hadn’t heard._

_She wondered if he was more likely to have the reaction if he was also touched?_

_***_

_They sat around the Solo’s kitchen table, a plate stacked high with cookies in the middle, just like in the movies._

_“Alright, I think we’ve got everything planned, is everyone clear on their jobs?” Rose snapped all the papers into her clipboard._

_Nods and murmurs of assent came up from all around. Just then, Ben’s mom walked through the room._

_“I talked to Gamma earlier, she wanted you to call her when you have time.” She squeezed Ben’s shoulders as she passed by. “You need a haircut.”_

_“Okay, mom.”_

_Rey bit into a chocolate chip cookie, sneaking peeks at Ben and his mother. What would it be like to have someone to make cookies, to care if she needed a haircut? Someone to say ‘I love you’ so often to, that it became a reflex?_

_***_

_“Do you need a ride home?”_

_Rey gathered up the thick markers and dropped them into the box. “Yeah, thanks Ben.” They said their goodbyes to Poe and Rose, who were tacking up the last banner announcing prom; and walked out into the cool afternoon._

_Ben’s car was at least 40 years old, built like a tank, but it ran like it was brand new. She had had her head under the hood several times, when he’d been working on it._

_He drove up in front of her house and parked at the curb, shutting off the engine. He knew from long experience that she wasn’t thrilled about going inside._

_“You okay?”_

_She sighed. “Yeah, I guess so.”_

_They laughed and talked until sunset. Rey thought he might ask her to prom, but hoped he wouldn’t. She hadn’t told any of them that she was moving, she thought it would be easier not to talk about it._

_Finally she opened the door, “see ya, Ben.”_

_“Love you!”_

_As she slammed the heavy door and turned away, she saw him lean his forehead against the steering wheel. Even though she knew he didn’t mean it, it was nice to hear anyway._

* * *

“What happened, Rey? We were all so worried about you, and we never knew why you left.” Rose rummaged through the green and yellow outfits on the rack.

“Plutt moved us. I didn’t have a choice.”

“But why didn’t you tell us? Couldn’t you have called one of us?”

Rey sighed. “I didn’t want to talk about it. I had to change schools right at the end of the year, and miss out on prom, graduation, everything. It seemed like it would be easier to just go.”

“We finally got the school counselor to tell us you had moved. We didn’t know if you were okay.”

“I’m sorry. It was horrible of me to do. I just couldn’t face everyone. I knew I’d cry nonstop and I didn’t want you all to remember me that way.”

Rose put her arm around Rey and squeezed. “We’re all so glad you’re back. You’ll let me know, if you decide to leave again?”

“I’m planning to stay. For good. I’m so glad everyone is still here in the neighborhood.”

Rose grinned. “We need to get the whole gang together for dinner, before the baby’s born. Finn wants to have a barbecue.”

“Just let me know when. And what to bring.”

Rose rifled through the baby clothes. “Seems like you need to bring Ben Solo.”

Rey ducked her face behind her shoulder, blushing. 

“He was devastated. When you left.”

Rey clicked her tongue. “Oh, come on, Rose.”

“He was. We forced him to go to prom, but he went stag.”

“He did? I thought he’d take Kaydel. Or Jess.”

“It was quite sad, Rey. I don’t think you realize…”

“What?”

Rose studied her thoughtfully. “You’ve been seeing him. Haven’t you.”

“Yes.” Rey could feel her face getting even hotter.

“Well. You’ll just let me know how things go.”

* * *

_“Hux said you were quitting.”_

_Rey set the box on the counter and bit her lip. “He wasn’t supposed to say anything.”_

_“But why is it a secret, Rey? What’s going on?”_

_“Nothing’s going on. I just need a change. Okay?”_

_“Okay. Thanks for bringing the pizza. Do you want a quart of mango again?”_

_“Can I get chocolate?”_

_“Sure. Whatever you want.”_

_“Thanks, Ben. See ya.”_

_“Bye Rey.”_

* * *

“Rey! Sweetie!” Ben’s mom was tiny, but she was a power hugger. 

“Mrs. Solo! It’s great to see you!” 

“Ben told us you had moved back! We want you to come over for dinner, honey. You just arrange it with Ben. Any time!”

“Thank you, ma’am, that would be wonderful.”

Ben’s father didn’t talk much, but he shook her hand with a gruff, “see ya around, kid.”

Rey milled around, talking to their friends and keeping an eye on Ben from a distance. It was the grand opening of his new café, and it was so beautiful. He’d been a bit stressed these last few weeks, but surely it would all be worth it. 

He caught her eye from across the room, and made his way to her, then bent down to give her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. He kept his arm around her as he looked around. 

“This is so wonderful, Ben! I’m so proud of you!”

He looked down at her, “It means a lot to me to have you here, Rey. You want to get dinner? I think we can go any time.”

“Sounds great.”

* * *

_“Why are you acting so weird today?” Rose brushed a wisp of Rey’s hair behind her ear._

_“I’m not acting weird.”_

_“Ben. Isn’t Rey acting weird?”_

_“I don’t know. You do seem a little… different today. Is everything okay?”_

_Rey huffed. “I’m fine. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

_Poe looked up from Mario Kart where Finn had just trounced him, and piped up, “I agree with Rose. What’s going on, Rey?”_

_Rey grabbed her backpack and stood up quickly. “I gotta go. See you guys.” She looked slowly around the room. Finn and Poe had started another round. Rose was busy pouring herself another cup of root beer. But Ben was studying her carefully. She couldn’t trust her voice, so she just waved instead, then turned and stomped up the stairs._

_And that was the last time she had seen them._

* * *

“Do you want to come over? We could watch a movie, or just talk.”

“Okay.” They usually went to Ben’s apartment because, plain and simple, his couch was more comfortable. 

She took off her shoes and propped her feet up on the couch, while he hung up their coats and put some water on for tea. 

He sat by her and moved her feet onto his lap, gently rubbing her feet, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. “I’m so glad today is over.”

“It was a long day, but so great! The shop turned out so fabulous!”

He grinned and rubbed up under the hem of her jeans, her ankle and lower calf. The tea pot started whistling, and he hopped up, then after a few minutes was back with two mugs of peppermint tea, Rey’s favorite. He set them to steep on the coffee table.

Rey drew her feet under herself as he sat next to her again. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his jaw. “I talked to your mom and dad for a few minutes tonight.”

“They want you to come for dinner sometime soon.”

“Mmm hmm, she invited me.”

She drew her fingers through his hair, and he turned to kiss her.

Several minutes later, he was lying on the couch and she was draped across his chest, her fingers tangled in his hair, his hands gently stroking her back and hips.

She drew back to look at him, running her fingers along his jaw, drawing her thumb over his lower lip.

He kissed her fingers. “Rey.” He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

“Yes, Ben?”

He took a deep breath and met her gaze. “You know that I love you. Don’t you?”

Her eyes widened. She didn’t think he would joke around about this. She looked into his eyes, noticing not for the first time the soft green, the smooth whiskey. “You do?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“I mean, you _have_ said it before. But I figured it was just. You know. A reflex or something.”

He snickered. “Oh, so you _did_ hear that.”

“Mmm. I might have done some experiments.”

He looked down at her, his eyebrows knit together. “Experiments?”

“Yeah. I noticed that you would say 'love you,' you know, like a knee-jerk thing, and so I might have tried different phrases, to see if I could get you to do it.”

“Wait. What?” He pushed against her arms and sat up straighter.

Her eyes got very wide. “I mean, don’t be mad or anything. I just noticed that you said it sometimes, without thinking, and I just. I had never had anyone say that to me before.” She pursed her lips, her chin wobbling. “And I thought, even if you didn’t mean it, it was nice. I’m sorry, Ben. I shouldn’t have done it.”

He brushed the tears from her cheeks, with his knuckles. “I did mean it.”

She pressed her fingers to her eyes, not sure if she had heard him correctly. “What?”

“I mean. It _was_ kind of a reflex thing. My Gamma Padmé and my mom are always saying ‘love you,’ when I see them, and on the phone, and sometimes it just comes out. But Rey. I _did_ mean it. I _do_ mean it. I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time.” He pulled her body across his and wrapped his arms around her. “When you moved away. I. It was awful.”

Her lips trembled and tears leaked down her cheeks.

“The worst part was that I hadn’t told you. Not really. And I had no way to contact you, to let you know.”

“I used to imagine that it was real. I used to pretend that you meant it. Sometimes it was the only thing that got me through.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I did. I do.” There might have been some tears leaking down his cheeks now, as well. “I can’t tell you. How I felt, that day when I saw you, sitting on the bench where we used to sit and talk. It felt like a dream. I thought I’d never find you again, and there you were. Just sitting there. Waiting to talk to me like you used to do, after school.” He brushed her hair back and kissed her, again and again.

“Ben.” She pressed her thumb against his dimple. “Ben.”

“Yes, Rey?”

“I love you too.”

He smiled. And she had never seen anything so beautiful.


End file.
